hello everyone! Thought I would share my awesome news. Today I went to the most crucial ultrasound and bloodwork appointment , and I’m proud to say that my baby is very healthy, strong, and, growing ! No signs of any issues that they have to check for ! But my truth is today.. No matter if my baby had any issues at all I will love that child with all my heart an be the best mom a mom could be! Not that I really cared to really hear if my child could have a possibility of being Down syndrome or any kind of syndrome I would jus love that child all the more. Considering yesterday’s post I was very upset with my fiancé but U.S. Goin to this appointment together seeing the little baby moving the fingers and toes that everything is functioning properly just really makes me love him so much more that he gave me this beautiful blessing ! I also thank you God for keeping me an my baby safe and healthy. I could never ask for anything more! In addition to all the good news we will be finding out the sex of our baby within the next two weeks ! Have never been so excited about something so much in my life! My truth is I already love my baby more then ever and cannot wait to start my beautiful family! 👨👩👧😘😍💋💕
So today I was dropped off at work by my fiancé. That was my first mistake… I gave him a desginated time to be there to pick me up “babe make sure you’re here at 4:15 pm, him- no problem babe I’ll be there”! Well , 4:15 rolls around mind you today it was pouring rain outside and I am 3 months pregnant.. Well he texts me “I’m outside babe waiting for you”! Perfect “I’m running a couple mins late be out in a minute.” So a few mins later I walk outside in pouring rain to see that he is no where to be found, as my heart starts to race and I become engulfed in flames with anger because I #1 know he lied about being there and #2 I know I’ll be waiting forever ! Not only as that happens I try to take my phone out to call him and drop my phone “SMASH” break my financed $700 phone on the ground now I’m ripping pissed ! Half hour goes by, 45 mins nothing except him trying to tell me he was almost there! In the mean time my coworkers won’t leave me alone at work because they feel bad as I feel bad that they are waiting on my half a brain fiancé (I do really love him jus not so much today lol) ! After a while the girls left and I had to stand in the ran, pregnant, hungry, tired, with a pounding irritating headache. So finally I call my dad to get me he finally gets there 25 mins later to pick me up an who pulls in? Yeah. Truth is he’s deff in the dog house for a few days. He better cozy up to the couch because that will be his bestfriend for a few days! But at least me an my dad could laugh about it on the ride home to put out the flame that was burning inside ! Yeah you heard me he got to drive home all alone, haha that’s what you get ! Tell me how the kennel treats you tonight my friend !!!
So I will admit it, I had a decent mom growing up not the best but decent. She did my hair, cleaned me up nice, and was there for me to talk to. Today I am recently a expecting mother, 3 months along and so excited for what is in store for me! But one thing I will not be is my mother. The reason I say that is because there are choices she has made in the past with me an my siblings that i would never make for my own child. Which we all say “we are not our parents” but I was the oldest out of four kids and was always a go getter and a big help to my mom, did everything she asked of me but was never good enough ! But the one thing I resent my mother the most for was making me out to be the kids mom as well. What I mean is I disciplined them, and my mom got to be my brother and sisters friends. While the kids resented me for always being the bad guy I learned to not like myself very much and never really had a good, fun, relationship with my siblings. Today I try my best to make it up to them, but I catch myself slipping up. Yes I will always love my mom but will never have the respect for her that I did when I was a child. The truth is I will never be my mother, this is my chance to turn that all around an enjoy my child to the fullest and be not only a mother but a friend too! But I will thank you mom for teaching me the responsibility I needed in life and knowledge I need to become a wonderful mom.
This has really never been me, ya know the writing type. I failed English miserably in grade school and never really liked reading much. But as I get older and a little bit wiser, I continue to get more interested in what is goin on around me. So please everyone excuse my lack of knowledge in the writing department because I truly have no idea what I am doing! But as I do speak my truth I would like to say that this is what I need. To be able to allow myself to share my truthful words and stories without necessarily being judged, or you can judge me if that’s the kind of person you are. But my real truth is I am who I am, if you don’t like me or my writing I can deal with that. Although this is probably the worst post any of you have ever read lol me being true to myself and others is the most important thing to me. So give me a chance to show you my truth, love, and changes that might help you in your daily lives. To share funny stories to make you laugh, smile, and, most of all try an give you something good to read!! But really, “what am I doing”?